Motivation

Sometimes things just don’t work out. Sometimes life gets in the way, and sometimes once things get uncomfortable it just gets too easy to push.

This has been one of those times.

In March, I injured my knee somehow, and forced myself to dial it back and try to recover, to avoid a major setback and missing my goal race – the Ottawa Marathon. I thought I was being smart, and maybe I was but then the longer I went before returning to an consistent form of activity the harder it was to get going.

Where was my motivation?

I ran when I could find time – this was different than previous years, where I made time to run. My busy life was reducing the weekend run times as I was almost always travelling to coach a basketball tournament, or I was wiped out from said tournaments and settled into rest. I knew what I needed to do, but just couldn’t force myself to lace ‘em up and get out there. The cold and wet month of April didn’t help either.

But in reality, these are hollow excuses…

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I just figured that I would do it, and it never really clicked that I was just taking the easy way out, or then again was I?

I have run a few trails recently and felt great – I even managed to power through the first 5 Peaks Ontario race in Terra Cotta (doing the Enduro Course 10.8k) and had a blast not only running, but volunteering to help set up the morning of the event. I have even run a few decent distances on road, but again this week, at around the 18k mark that pain returned to my knee and I am very fearful of trying to complete a marathon knowing this could flare up again.

So here is the dilemma, do I try to tough it out and go to Ottawa and run the marathon, risking injury, but completing my goal, or do I look at this as a test, and realize that sometimes our goals need to be challenged and changed to reflect a new reality?

I’m not sure, but know that I will listen to my body, and if I can go, I will, and if I start the race, I will complete it, regardless of how long it takes BUT I will not risk the rest of my summer by injuring myself. My family needs me to be healthy, and I have many things that need to be done this summer, so again, I know I will do the right thing.

I just don’t know what that is, yet…